Because I'm a man , when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.   Calling AAA is not an option.   I will win.

Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at.   If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."   We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

Because I'm a man , when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.   You're a woman.   You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

Because I'm a man , I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread.   I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu."   For all I know, these are the same thing.

Because I'm a man , when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man , I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV.   If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator..... ( applies to engineers mainly).

Because I'm a man , there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.   The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex.   I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man , I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to.   Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay   I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

Because I'm a man , you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.   Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man , I think what you're wearing is fine.   I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.   Either pair of shoes is fine.   With the belt or without it, looks fine.   Your hair is fine.   You look fine.   Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man , and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share equally in the housework.   You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.

n         A woman sitting in an Melbourne restaurant suddenly began to cough After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress
Two locals, Kenzie and Brian sitting at the next table turned to look at her After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress
Two locals, Kenzie and Brian sitting at the next table turned to look at her.

. 'Kin ya swaller?' asked Kenzie The woman signalled 'No!' desperately shaking her head.

'Kin ya breathe?' asked Brian The woman shook her head 'No!!!

  With that, Kenzie walked behind her, lifted up the back her dress, of yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her arse.This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again

Kenzie swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.! Brian said in admiration 'Ya know Kenzie, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it

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A Serious Problem!



:

You are driving in a car at  a constant speed.On your left side is a
'drop  off' (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are
traveling on), and  on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the
same speed as you. In  front of you is a galloping horse which is the
same size as your car and you  cannot overtake it. Behind you is a
galloping zebra. Both the horse and  zebra are also traveling at the
same speed as you . What must you do to  safely get out of this highly
dangerous  situation?

For the answer  click and drag your mouse from star to star.









*Get your drunk  ass off the merry-go-round. *

Interesting Year  1981
> > 1. Prince Charles got married
> > 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe 3. Australia lost the
> > Ashes tournament.
> > 4. Pope Died
> >
> > Interesting Year 2005
> > 1. Prince Charles got married
> > 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe 3. Australia lost the
> > Ashes tournament 4. Pope Died
> >
> > Lesson Learned
> > The next time Charles gets married...someone warn the Pope
> >
> >
> >